Author: [[Abe Brownell]] --- # Performance Notes *Losing it* # Is and Wasn't ## 1 Poem is and poem wasn't Never learned to open my mouth was the meaning of it The end of it simmering in ennui Cracking the beginning over your head Raised in the afterlife Fed on good old fashioned hereafter Dance when I'm not looking Couldn't tell you the moves Don't even feel close with myself Losing hearing by the spoonful Couldn't tell you how much that is Puts quiet on the run Flail about in feeble gestures Say what you can't make sense of Whip and flutter and loosen to fall apart Into a strict and unequivocal definition of death To which I have yet to respond Pull words out like teeth Could be something your heart doesn't do anymore Crumpling up and crumpling down Crumpling into all ten directions and shaking in six ways Dig out of the dirt Brush the words off Shed all strands of narrative Get naked as the new day Burn off some karma throw in some kerosene Burning one For the time being For the merit This is the vestibule of my escape hatch A great many all forlorn and dejected Depicted here with the tools of their profession Somber as the new day A strict and unequivocal definition of life Some teeth are still in use All a chatter on lost words Stumbling around in non-sequiturs I fixed up my late uncle's old speakers yesterday Sat in the glow of the receiver This time could last forever Halting in the doorway Falling over a running start Gliding down the highway with my brother and sister Another funeral and death closes the gap between us Futures bent into each other and all out of shape The past is in shambles Military rites and I always startle at the guns Firing off the cliff edge of silence ## 2 Poem was and poem isn't Never managed to close my mouth What's the meaning of it? Simmering beginnings in ennui Cracking the end over your head Primordial death Drink deeply of before Couldn't tell you how much that is Never caught up with quiet Tighten up to turn yourself down Pull words out like teeth Don't do it anymore Crumpling up and down All ten directions this time And six ways Dig out the words Naked as the day Under a strict and unequivocal definition Chattering over lost words Stumbling around in non-sequiturs Death fills the gap Time could last forever Fall over a running start and Keep crawling Another funeral and we're down the highway Bending futures in Futures fall apart Off into the cliff edge of silence ## 3 Over the cliff edge of silence The grief roars on loud I back away from the cliff